Running towards the big 40!

Today I need to talk about running. My running partner is my husband for now which works pretty well because he is willing to run at my pace, which is VERY SLOW! I've never really enjoyed running nor have I ever wanted to compete. I just want some cardio that keeps my legs toned. The problem is I have this issue with wanting to run faster and longer but my body just isn't built that way. Lets just say I've got a few extra pounds that need to be shed and my husband is a 260 lb. X college football offensive lineman. He used to be 300 lbs. of solid strength but now he is 260 lbs. of big legs and a spare tire. Ok so I got off subject a little. But he keeps telling me that once we shed a few more pounds we'll run farther and faster, as long as we keep running. So we add about 5-15 minutes to our run every few weeks and we run about 4 times a week but I still can't run any faster! So why do care so much as long as we keep doing it and I get a good cardio workout? The crazy thing is that my husband could out run me any day! He has lungs of steel. He could go out and run 5 miles in a reasonable time even after taking years off from running. He was running obsessed when he was younger so I think he is naturally conditioned to running even at 260 lbs.

Over the last ten years, I've gained and lost wait several times but it keeps getting harder to loose if I gain. You see I'm turning 40 in October and I want to look and feel good. I WANT TO LOOK 30 NOT 40!!! Isn't 4o the new 30 anyway? So that's why I obsess about working out and running. Over the last year and a half I've lost about 25 lbs. and have toned up tremendously, but it's not enough. I still want to loose maybe 10 to 15 more lbs. and I haven't lost any weight in the last 4 months or so. And I'm tired of these skinny little bitches passing us on the trail while we eat their dust.

Ok so I sound like a typical woman who rants and raves about wanting to be skinny and younger looking. Why does it even matter if I am skinny or fat? I'm still the same person inside. I don't know, it just matters to me. Is that shallow? Maybe. I guess I'll keep trying until I'm satisfied which may be never. It seems I'm running faster towards 40 than ever but it's just a state of mind anyway. Right? Maybe if I run backwards I could look back at my 30's and see that age really doesn't matter. I'm sure that one day I'll figure out that it's not the destination, it's the journey that matters.